Mr. Clot’s Power Rankings

We’ll turn it over to the University of Toronto Varsity Blues’ own Mr. Clot, aka Jizzy Ranks, for the inaugral (for this site, anyway) edition of his weekly power rankings. We’ll be back with a post tomorrow and game coverage from Raps-Suns on Thursday:

NBA stars were crossed this week with franchise players going out banged up (LBJ, CB4, Duncan, Boozer) and a number of upsets early in the week of the rankings’ top teams (San Antonio, Phoenix, Boston, Dallas), including a couple of choke jobs by Kobe and Ray Allen at the stripe with their respective contests in the balance. The big winners this week, as last week, are the Warriors who are so hot they’re literally causing fires (umm, Key Arena scoreboard) and the Bucks dropping like lead because of some uninspired play after a nice winning streak that had them in the rankings’ top 10. Our one-man panel truly appreciates your feedback and thoughts, rants or raves, to keep him honest and he gives thanks in advance. Of course, it never hurts to remind our faithful readers (since so many seem to get it twisted) that these rankings are based on recent play, primarily on the week ending Sunday. So without further ado, let’s get retarded …

1. Boston (1) – Say what you will about their soft schedule to start the year or the fact that the Big Three are logging major floor time, but don’t ignore the fact that they have a whopping +13.5 point differential with a league-best 87.4 PA, as well as being undefeated on their home parquet. In a taut match filled with copious jawing, notably between LBJ and KG and Pierce (with whom ‘Bron has a heated rivalry), Allen choked up the win in regulation and they lost in OT for only their second loss, but have begun a new winning streak, including annihilations of New York and Miami. While we’ll concede that their two losses have been against their biggest Eastern rivals, we need to see more struggling before we drop them out of this spot. Who knows, maybe the “destiny” we referred to last week was to go out like the first great Big Three (Baylor-West-Chamberlain), who only squeezed out one championship (in a magical year) after years of being denied. Look out for panel-favorite Big Baby who’s beginning to do big things off the bench with his size and skill.

2. San Antonio (3) – The loss of Tim Duncan for possibly an extended period of time could be difficult to overcome with an extremely tough schedule upcoming for the champs. Other than succumbing to the Revenge of the Slovenian Slayer, Beno Udrih, the Spurs have continued their excellent early-season play, having won 8 of their last 9. As mentioned in last week’s edition of the rankings, Parker and Ginobili are putting up big numbers on any given night (see Parker vs. WAS or Ginobili vs. MIN this week) and they will need to until the Big Fundamental returns.

3. Phoenix (2) – After a couple of lackluster outings against two capable teams in Houston and Golden State, which halted their super run of 8 straight, the Suns rebounded with a big win over the L’s best road team, the Magic, withstanding Dwight Howard’s 30 and 23. They also got their east coast roadie off to a good start with a win at MSG, with Grant Hill having a season-best game. Raja Bell’s return from injury and the valuable play he provides at both ends of the court is also good news.

4. Orlando (4) – The Magic are having a franchise-best year, buoyed by their stellar road record, including having gone 3-1 on their current trip, with the only loss coming to a Phoenix squad which swept the season series (and thus dinged Orlando for half their losses this year). Dwight Howard, believe it or not, has more dunks this season than over 25 teams in the NBA. What a stat. Not only does he have the panel in slack-jawed awe, Kevin Durant also had stars in his eyes and labeled him the most dominant player in the league right now after he watched the big fella drop a silly 39 and 16 on the Sonics in the Emerald City. I hope he can convince DStern to raise the rims for the slam dunk contest so we can see him attempt the between-the-legs VC-style jam he says he has up his sleeve.

5. Utah (5) – Other than a curious and disappointing loss to the lowly Knicks, Boozer and Deron Williams continue to terrorize defenses with precisely executed pick-and-rolls, running off wins in 5 of their last 6 games. Unfortunately, Boozer tweaked his ankle in Philly (and bravely continued to lead his team to the win) and is out for a bit but they may not miss him if AK47 continues to have the stat-stuffing games we come to expect from him, like his triple-double output in a win against the Lakers.

6. Golden State (12) – Ok, now we’re talking about the type of basketball that drove the Warriors to the biggest playoff upset in recent history … after a nightmarish beginning to the season, The City are the hottest team in the league right now with 6 wins in a row and 9 of their last 10. Baron Davis is unstoppable and the only team which may have contributions as balanced as GS is the Suns. Monta Ellis also needs more pub – he’s averaging 22 PPG in the winning streak. Not bad for a mere 22-yr old drafted in the second round straight out of a tiny Mississippi high school. As well, another precocious youngster, Andris Biedrins, the greatest Latvian player ever, has been averaging double digit rebounds in the winning streak. WHOA NELLIE! (ok, that was totally gratuitous, we couldn’t help it).

7. Detroit (11) – The Bad Boys look like they are beginning to fire their pistons, having won 5 out of their last 6 to retake control of the Central division. After some stops and starts due to injury and family business, Rip is looking like his all-star self and him and Mr. Big Shot are starting to regain their place as the league’s best backcourt. ‘Sheed and Dyess also seem healthy again and Jason Maxiell is providing quality minutes off the bench with his defense and his work on the offensive and defensive glass. Look for them to create some distance between their division rivals in the next little while.

8. New Orleans (8) – After a terrible loss to Minnesota in front of the handful of fans NO gets these days (come back, OKC!), the Hornets maintain their spot at eighth in the rankings by continuing their winning ways on the road (only second to Orlando), beating Atlanta, and getting the Mavericks’ monkey off their back by finally beating them after 8 years (!). Barring catastrophe by injury, Byron Scott will be taking his team to the postseason this year. CHRIIISSS PAULLL!!! (say it in a high voice)

9. Dallas (6) – After a blazing start, the Mavs have fallen into a bit of a malaise lately and need to find a cure if they are going to keep up with the Spurs (and even the Hornets). They are awful on the road and lost for the first time at home this week against an inspired Wizards group. Beating crappy Minnesota and Portland at home does nothing to boost their ranking this week and so they drop to the edge of the top 10.

10. Denver (10) – With K-Mart looking like his ol’ bad self and Anthony Carter facilitating opportunities for the league’s top scoring duo, the Nuggets may be getting back to winning consistently after a stretch in which they lost 4 of 5, including a tough loss at home against Indiana and a blowout suffered in L.A. at the hands of an unconscious Sasha Vujacic. Running roughshod over Miami the way they did is a good sign of things to come, but as we continue to keep in mind, they need to win at sea-level to go up in these rankings.

11. Toronto (15) – Just when it looked like the Raps were going to turn the corner with a healthy Chris Bosh leading the way, the franchise player, worryingly fragile this year, goes out again for a few games. But like American Express, depth has its advantages, with smooth Argentine Carlos Delfino and Il Mago stepping up with career-highs at home against an LBJ-less Cavs squad. Ultimately, the offense runs through Bosh and they will need him back soon. Is it time to start Jose Calderon, Sam Mitchell?? In place of a stung T.J. Ford, the most underrated point guard in the league has dropped 11 dimes a game and leads the league with an obscene 5.5:1 assist-to-turnover ratio. Also, the rookie sensation of the early season, Jamario Moon, continues to wow people with his uber-athleticism and steady play. You want evidence?: Mitchell has made the Moonwalker second in MPG only to Toronto’s lone all-star.

(Ed: If you haven’t seen it, watch Moon absolutely destroy the Canadian national anthem below)

12. Houston (14) – The Rockets have been a tough team to figure out lately. After a tremendous start, they’ve lost over twice as many games as they’ve won (of course, Mac was out for a while). T-Mac and Yao are doing their things, but each has been somewhat inconsistent in stringing together solid games every time out. Stevie Franchise is back in Adelman’s mix, however, and this could add more scoring punch to a relatively anemic team aside from their dynamic duo (no one else averages double digit points). They will have to pick it up soon to keep pace in the Southwest, well-known as the toughest division in the L this year.

13. Indiana (20) – The Pacers make the biggest leap in this week’s rankings on the strength of a 3-1 west coast road trip, with their only blemish due to a career night from panel-fave KD and a Sonics team that scratched and clawed for their first home win. Rucker Park legend, Bucktown’s Mel Mel the Abuser, is having a career year and should be considered among the elite tier of point guards right now. Junior is also starting to play like a #3 overall pick and fulfill his potential, dropping 30 at altitude and then helping take out his pop’s squad at Staples. The return of JO doesn’t hurt either … They are a great running team (second in the East in scoring), but their recent success will be tested this week against Phoenix and Orlando.

14. L.A. Lakers (13) – P-Jax just got signed to a ludicrous extension, but what does it matter if Kobe starts to whine again because they continue to lose winnable games, despite an excellent start. Were it not for the fact that they got to play Seattle at home and were saved by a 4^th quarter explosion by little-used Sasha Vujacic, they might be on a 7-game losing streak right now and be below .500. It also looks like the Ariza-Evans/Cooke trade is working out much better for the Magic as the latter both made contributions to an Orlando win at Staples, while Ariza rode the pine all night.

15. Cleveland (9) – Right now the wine-and-gold are decimated by holdouts (Varejao) and injuries (Marshall, Hughes), including the only player they cannot afford to go without, His Majesty King J. After culminating a 4-game winning streak to get back into the thick of the Central race with a huge win against the Celts, they have dropped 3 in a row with LBJ “witnessing” losses in a suave turtleneck combo. It is fortunate that Z is having a career year as is the Black Viking, Drew Gooden, who is finally beginning to show why he was so highly touted by The Logo coming out of KU. I’ll take the wait-and-see to see how they hold up without LBJ, but I don’t think it looks very good.

16. Washington (18) – The Wiz have fought hard and played some inspired basketball without their leader and #1 griller in the league. They are 5-4 without Arenas, with the remainder of their Big Three playing amazingly even though teams are keying on them every night. They rise in the rankings even without Gil because they went in to Dallas and took them out and then hung in on the road in the Alamo despite Tony Parker going off and Bruce Bowen holding panel-fave Caron Butler in check. With Agent Zero out until probably March, though, the road ahead is looking bleak.

17. Sacramento (24) – The Kings also make a huge leap in the rankings, despite a poor overall record, on the strength of rousing wins against two Texan teams, including the champs. After topping the 20-point mark the first 9 games of the season and being among the league leaders in scoring, and then dropping in scoring average by 10 PPG for the next 5 games, Kevin Martin seems to have broken out of his mini-slump with big games against their NorCal rivals and against his old coaching staff. It also helps that this has rebirth has coincided with spectacular all-around play from RonRon, who must be playing for his ailing daughter.

18. New Jersey (16) – Another difficult team to figure … last week, we suggested that with Vince’s return and after a gritty win in L.A., the Nets would come home off their road trip and start stringing together some W’s. Boy, was that wrong … Defensively-challenged Memphis took them out at IZOD, they barely beat Philly with VC acting as 6^th man, and then he was back in the starting 5 the next game against Detroit, in which they got hammered. They are a pathetic rebounding team – you know it’s bad when your point guard is your rebounding leader, especially by a large margin.

19. Milwaukee (7) – To paraphrase the great African novelist Chinua Achebe, things seem to be falling apart for the Bucks just as fast as they were looking up. They had a brief glimpse of the Central mountaintop after a 5-game winning streak and then slipped and fell off the peak, losing 4 games in 5 nights, mostly to the dregs of the Eastern conference. This included their first home loss of the year and a terrible collapse in MSG. Now they’re having players-only meetings and Larry Krystkowiak is at wit’s end with respect to how quickly they’ve done this Jekyll-and-Hyde job. Sucks for them that they have to go out west for five games, now. Good Luck, Buck!

20. Memphis (23) – Things are looking better for the Grizz, winners of 3 of their last 4, with the return of Darko to the starting lineup and the continued solid play of rookie Juan Carlos Navarro, who Marc Iavaroni needs to insert into the starting lineup permanently. Still need to work on their porous defense …

21. Atlanta (21) – The Hawks are still up and down, struggling to reach the .500 mark, as November comes to a close. The problem is, with so many weapons, the ball is not being shared as much as it could or should be and this needs to be rectified. Panel-favorite Horfy, however, has earned what looks like a permanent starting spot with poised play and monstrous board work.

22. Philadelphia (26) – The Sixers are maturing as a team and are identifying themselves as a defensive team, on most nights, with Iguodala hawking the ball and Dalembert anchoring the middle. Kyle Korver is back from groin injury, but is struggling to find a rhythm and regain the form that made him one of the most feared gunners in the L ever since he came into the league.

23. Chicago (28) – Ok, so the Bulls are starting to play like they should, but they’re not quite there yet. Deng and Gordon are carrying them through this stretch and Ben Wallace is at least showing some life and doing his thing on the glass. Nocioni is also coming in and imposing his will on the game, which he is so good at. Unfortunately, Kirk Hinrich is looking like the pro golfer who wakes up one day and has totally lost his swing and all his confidence and can’t break 80 for the rest of his life. We don’t know if it matters anyway because, as Yogi might say, it might be getting late early for these guys.

24. Charlotte (17) – The ‘Cats have dropped five straight now, with losses coming to the two worst teams in the East, allowing breakout games from both Miami and Chicago, even with them having plenty of rest this week. We would think that this young team would be hungrier and we’ll see when they’ll snap this streak. We keep fawning over their “Fab Four”, but their starting center, Primoz Brezec, is giving them jack squat, which is disappointing because the panel thinks he’s got some potential.

25. L.A. Clippers (19) – Starting the season in our inaugural edition’s rankings top 10 due to an amazing 4-0 start, they are a walking hospital and have plummeted to the rankings cellar, going 2-9 since. The bad news includes rookie Al Thornton sitting because of his own aches and pains. The good news is Corey Maggette and Brevin Knight are back and, of course, the undertaker of the L, Chris Kaman, is playing at, dare we say, an all-star level.

26. Portland (22) – After starting the season over .500 at 4-3, the Blazers have dropped 9 of their last 10, although the schedule has been tough. Aldridge is continuing to improve steadily but they struggle to put it in the hole and Brandon Roy’s slump doesn’t help matters at all. Steve Blake is always steady at the point but Martell Webster needs to have a breakout year this year, as does Travis Outlaw.

27. Miami (25) – Even in the East, the Heat does not look like it will be among the top 8 at season’s end. They just can’t seem to string together consecutive wins and troubling defeats to Boston and Denver in which the games were over early and neither Shaq nor Wade were factors. They might very well be 4-17 by the time they return from their extended sojourn out west. Yikes. The panel also takes back any optimism that was attributed to some good play from Penny. He should retire.

28. New York (27) – The panel must be up front about our negative bias against the Knicks because it will inform anything we write in this space next to their name. Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a u-know-what. It really doesn’t matter that they went .500 this week, the stink bomb they laid in Beantown should overshadow anything that they accomplish over the next little while unless they can show that that was an aberration. Somehow, we don’t think that’s going to happen. If Milwaukee didn’t cough it up in MSG, we might have had them in last place this week. FIRE ISAIAH!!

(Ed: If you somehow missed the woeful ineptitude at the Garden, here’s the short version)

29. Seattle (29) – After beatdowns administered by the Lakers and Dwight Howard (in Rashard Lewis’s return to the Pacific Northwest – warm ovation, btw), the Sonics finally got their first home win in a scrappy effort and a career-night from panel-fave KD. We were encouraged by his good shooting nights early in the week but have been brought back to earth by a single-digit, 2-12 performance against Golden State. It is sad that Jeff Green is so unheralded compared to KD, but he was only three picks lower, and is showing that he has game, pulling down more boards in less minutes than his draftmate. Kurt Thomas’s return will provide some more beef up front, especially critical on the defensive end. The good news mitigating their poor record is that they play hard and are getting better.

30. Minnesota (30) – The T-Wolves were not really expected to realistically win any games this week, but managed to take out New Orleans on the road and played the Mavs tight on a big game from Al Jefferson. Is that enough to leapfrog their partners in futility from the Northwest division? We don’t think so … Randy Wittman says Corey Brewer is still learning the nuances of the offensive game at this level, but he must have also heard the panel’s appeals to start him, which he has the last two games. I’d like to see this team with Randy Foye running things, it would probably look a lot better.