The top 10 basketball commercials

For some reason — perhaps better marketability, more urban cred or just because the players are so much cooler — basketball commercials are, without fail, always better than those featuring athletes from other sports. Football players tend to be too cheesy, baseball players have a distinct lack of personality, and while I love the ‘fastest game on Earth’, hockey players are, well, nice guys who can’t really act for shit.

But basketball commercials — most of them — never fail to entertain. Here are the top 10 commercials featuring hoops stars. Argue about the order in the comments.

10. Chuck vs. Godzilla — What more needs to be said? They’re about the same size now, too, so maybe they should have a rematch…

9. MJ vs. Bird — The Showdown. I remember loving this commercial when I was about 13 years old. I’d planned to rank it higher, but watching it now … it just seems stilted. Bird was never a great actor to begin with (although the ‘no dunking’ line is gold) and him and MJ don’t really have any chemistry. The whole thing just seems kinda overdone and cheesy, like everything McDonald’s did in the 90s. It does get points, however, for the music and outfits. I think MJ rolled Will Smith while he was coming off the ‘Fresh Prince’ set.

8. Steve Nash and Ali G — “No disrespect, but you is Canadian, so you don’t even speak English.” Nash is too earnest and good-hearted to be a truly funny guy, but he makes an absolutely perfect straight man. And his flat-out ‘No’ just sells the whole bit. I could stick all four of the Ali G promos on here, but we’ll go with Steve, because we have a soft spot for him.

7. AI and Jadakiss — This one makes it on here because they let Iverson rap, and Jadakiss is great, and it’s all shot in black and white … and it’s the perfect way to sell one of the best — and at times, most controversial — players in the league. Everything about this commercial works for AI. You couldn’t do this with Duncan (too traditionally good and respected), Nash (too white), LeBron or MJ (too corporate) or anyone else really. AI’s the only superstar baller in the L who can get down on a track with Jadakiss and not have it sound contrived.

6. Air Force Ones, 25th edition — “Together we stand, divided we fall/ United we form Voltron and take on all…” Another reason that basketball commercials are consistently better than those from other sports? No other sport has a genre of music so perfectly married to it as hoops n’ hip-hop. When the beat blends with the ball, the result is almost always moving. This clip is a perfect example.

5. Steve Nash — “If you wanna be good, you gotta practice.” Yeah, we’re biased, but Nash is just awesome, his work ethic is inspiring … and video of L’il Nash is priceless. The only commercial on this list that loses points for being just a tad too cute.

4. Astronautics — MJ feat. Spike Lee. We dissed MJ for his wardrobe above, but without him, the basketball commercial as we know it wouldn’t exist. If you’re ever bored, type in Jordan and Nike and Mars into youtube and watch them all. Some of the first hints of both MJ’s off-the-charts marketability and Spike Lee’s filmmaking greatness. “Do ya know, do ya know, do ya know?”

3. Vince Carter — Nike Shox. My hatred for Vince burns deep, and I can’t see it ever expiring. He quit on his team, disappointed a whole city of fans, weaseled his way out of town, sulked, whined and generally transformed Toronto from his city to a city united against him. There was a time though, when happy-go-lucky VC and his otherworldly hops owned the NBA. It’s in that spirit that I am able to watch this outstanding clip — with music that perfectly matches the feel — and grin like Air Canada was not grounded on the tarmac of my heart for evermore.

2. Charles Barkley — “I am not a role model”. As always, Chuck says it before people even realize it needs to be said. This commercial aired in 1993, and it’s still worthy of viewing today. Also, Chuck gets huge props for writing the ad copy for his own commercial. This one is all him, and it stands the test of time.

1. “MJ — “Let your game speak”. The blueprint for so many of those overwrought, yet awesomely powerful, basketball commercials of the last five years. There’s a moment in this clip when the viewer realizes what’s going on — that this is a montage of the next generation coming up paying tribute to their hero — and, even though I now know it’s coming, it sends chills down my spine every single time. This commercial is gorgeously shot, too. You can also take it as a metaphor for the influence MJ has had on the commercial game. Think of the classical music and gorgeously shot slo-mo/pictures of the current “Where Amazing Happens” campaign and others like it.

Disagree? Did I forget one? Let us know below.